Random thoughts from childhood

I am a single father of a 6-year old girl. This has given me the opportunity to remember things from my childhood probably best left forgotten. I have many pet names for my daughter. All cute and girlie and she answers to all of them.

I never had pet names from my parents when I was growing up. Being one of six boys, no girls was an often confusing and mind numbing childhood that is all coming back to me now as a parent. My younger brother and I were always getting into something or another and no doubt causing the imminent destruction of our mothers sanity in the process. I never knew what my real name was until one fateful day in 3rd grade. My mother used to get fed up with our shenanigans and look at me and say "Jesus Christ", then look at my brother and say "What the hell!!" This led to years of identity crisis for my brother and I until that day in 3rd grade. One of my classmates had said or done something completely uncalled for in class (Isn't that a prerequisite for 3rd graders?) and our teacher looked around the class and without thinking said "What the hell!!" To which I said "He's down the hall in Room-10". My poor teacher was now completely lost. After a few phone calls home, a 3rd grader's explanation to mom and a trip to the Navy base to get me an ID card, I found out my real name. I always wondered why everybody was praying to me in church. I'm just a kid, what am I supposed to do about all those peoples problems.

The moral of this story is be sure to use cute pet names for your children. Nothing with the Lord's name or exclamation marks needed.